Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
