I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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