I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
