i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
