never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Randomize
