I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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