wanna go halves on a baby?
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
