did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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