i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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