Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Randomize
