East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
