Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
