If that was your dad, he is hot
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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