turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
