so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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