I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
