i wish peter jackson would direct porn
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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