Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
