You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
