Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
