I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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