My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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