You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
