Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
