Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I wish my penis had an off switch
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
