Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
im drinking this country out of the recession.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
