this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
she looked like the before picture.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
What a dumb baby whore.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Randomize
