During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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