His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
false alarm, still single
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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