Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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