"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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