And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
