My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
He shit in the fireplace
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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