just come out here and I will go home with you...
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
