Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
It's blow job season.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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