so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
