yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize