....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
