I'm jealous of your bromance
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
