AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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