It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
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