So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
