meet me or not, i'm out of control
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
