Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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