We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
