sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Randomize
