would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Houston, we have a blender
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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