I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize