So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Success! We fucked roommates!
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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