New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
