the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
