We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
