Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize