where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
