I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
