Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
